Words and Photos by Jada “Flo” Lippincott @whereisjadaa
“The world is a dangerous place for little girls. Besides, little girls are more fragile, more delicate, more brittle than little boys. ‘Watch out, be careful, watch.’ ‘Don’t climb trees, don’t dirty your dress, don’t accept lifts from strange men. Listen but don’t learn, you won’t need it.’” - Robyn Davidson, Tracks: One Woman's Journey Across 1,700 Miles of Australian Outback
If I had a dollar for every time I was out adventuring solo and someone said, “Where’s your boyfriend, isn’t he worried?”, or, “Are you out here all by yourself?”, or “You better be careful out here all alone!”, I could probably buy my own personal travel assistant to accompany me on all my adventures. Obviously, I would spend that money on more solo adventures instead, but it’s almost like the world doesn’t know how to react when a little girl wants to chase down dreams that are bigger than her hometown, population 10,000.
We don’t live in the early 1900s anymore and I understand that comes with advantages, as well as some drawbacks. I understand the world today is not like the world we had back then, but that doesn’t mean that we need to live in fear. I’m not ignorant of the world around us. I know how dangerous stepping into the unknown can be. I know that there are people out there with ulterior motives. I know that every time I stick my thumb up on the side of the road, I’m opening a can of worms that I may not want to open. I also know how short life is. I was put on this Earth to live as hard as I can possibly live and I am not going to NOT do things simply because “it’s scary”.
So, what are you waiting for? Traveling solo as a woman is the most empowering thing you will ever do, as it builds confidence, independence, and opens our eyes to self-discovery that we may have never found elsewhere. It’s an enriching experience that sometimes comes with its own challenges, but it's always worth it in the end. What we learn from those unique challenges are things that we take with us on the next adventure and beyond. I have put together a guide that’s designed to help empower women to continue to get out there, wherever that may be.
Before I dig into the nitty gritty, the most important piece of advice that my grandma told me when I was very young, yet it still applies to my everyday life, is to trust your gut. This is our intuition and it’s one of the most important safety tools that we can carry as solo female travelers.
It’s like our mind and body know something is up before we even realize it. The first step in trusting your gut is to know what it feels like when something may be off. A tight stomach, racing heart, or a sudden sense of uneasiness are some physical feelings that may come up in a situation. Feeling hyper-aware or unsettled are also feelings that may occur. Listen to these subtle signs from your body BEFORE the signs become not-so-subtle. Trusting your gut can sometimes come through as rude or dramatic if it involves you removing yourself from the situation. You never owe anyone an explanation for leaving a place, turning down help, or walking away from a conversation.
Being safe is always more important than being polite. If you’re ever in a situation that your gut is telling you to get out of, use the resources that you have on you, like your cellphone to get yourself out of it. You can pull your phone out and either pretend to make a call or actually call someone. Shoot them a text beforehand and tell them the situation. While we’re on the topic of phones, it’s important to always share your location with friends and/or family 24/7. This is a huge safety thing. All in all, your gut is not going to ever let you down. It’s a survival too, not just a feeling.
This next tidbit may seem like something that’s been repeated to us gals our whole lives, but walk, wander, or however else you move, do it with a purpose. Hold your head up high, shoulders back, and maintain a steady pace when you’re wandering. Whether I’m getting gas at the gas station, walking downtown NYC, walking through the grocery store, or walking on trail, I am always exemplifying a “strong” stature. Even if I’m not sure where exactly I’m at or where I’m going, I make it look like I do. This gives off the impression that we are confident, even though sometimes we don’t always feel like that, and in turn, it keeps us from being a sitting target.
When we move with a purpose, it shows that we have awareness and intention with what we’re doing and where we’re going. It’s important to limit distractions as you move. Don’t be looking at your phone while you’re wandering in unfamiliar places because this shows uncertainty. When your phone is in your face, you can’t tell what’s going on around you either, which could sometimes turn into dangerous situations. If someone approaches you, be assertive. You can still smile, be polite and say hello in an assertive manner without acting like you’re caving. Overall, those who appear to be confident and aware are less likely to be targeted. Moving with a purpose doesn’t mean that we know everything, but it’s about showing the world that we are in fact in control. You don’t need to feel fearless to look like you have a purpose.
The next piece of advice is for those solo female hikers out on the trail. Hiking by yourself is a very empowering experience. When we see what our bodies and minds can handle when we’re out by ourselves, we learn how strong we really are. If we never put ourselves in that situation, how would we know how strong we are in the first place? This is the time in my life where I get the question, “You’re out here by yourself?”, the most.
If you’re ever hiking and come across somebody that seems a little suspicious, as in, maybe they are asking you weird things, like, “Are you alone?”, or “Where is the rest of your group?”, the best thing to do in this situation is to lie. Don’t let people know you’re alone if you’re feeling uneasy. Tell them that your group is coming and they are just a couple miles behind. I have personally pulled this trick a couple times. Hold your head high and keep your body language purposeful in all interactions. If a situation arises and you need to get the heck out, just hike on. Push on as far as your legs can push. Adrenaline will take you places that you didn’t even know were possible.
People that don’t hike are going to ask what you carry to protect yourself on trail, whether it be a gun, a hatchet, or something in between. They’re asking you that question out of fear for themselves, but I promise it’s not a scary place out there–they just have never been out on trail before so they have no idea. Remember, the scariest animal out on trail are other humans.
When solo traveling in a vehicle, there are some little things that I do to keep myself safe.
When I’m traveling long distances and I need to refuel, I will always choose big, well-lit truck stops. Even in the middle of the night, the pumps are all lit up and the workers inside are always friendly. Stay clear from the little gas stations on the backroads. The big truck stops often have nice restrooms and showers, Wi-Fi, hot food, and they usually keep a variety of auto parts inside if a situation arises where you need something. The Flying J or Love’s also allow you to camp overnight in the parking lot. Because it’s so well-lit, I would recommend having window covers if this is where you stay.
I am into overlanding, meaning I enjoy taking my truck off-road, into the middle of nowhere, to explore places that not everyone gets to see. I use an app on my phone, OnX Off-Road which shows me where public land is for free camping. When I’m finding a campsite, I try to be nowhere near anyone else. I don’t want to encroach on someone else, and I certainly don’t want anyone else to encroach on me. When looking for a campsite, I may go out a little further than normal just to make sure that no one else is going to be coming to the same location. The feeling of seeing headlights in the middle of the night when you’re in the middle of nowhere can be a little scary sometimes. I try to eliminate this as much as possible. In terms of security, I keep a can of bear spray in the bed of the truck and a can of bear spray in the cab. I have never had a situation on trail or traveling in the vehicle where I wished I had something that I don’t actively have. It’s almost like when you experience and live in the world around you, as opposed to just listening to the news, you find out it’s not that bad after all.
When it comes to hitch-hiking as a solo female traveler, it’s almost like the world loses its mind when people see you. First and foremost, I understand there are bad eggs out there and not everyone has good intentions, BUT, I have hitch-hiked hundreds of times, on and off trail, by myself and with others, and I have never had an experience that my dad would have thought “was dangerous.” With hitching, sometimes you turn desperate, meaning sometimes you’re standing out there for awhile and are just needing one car to stop.
It’s harder in these situations, but you should remember to trust your gut when it comes to choosing what car to get in with. I take photos of each license plate as I’m approaching the vehicle and send it to someone in my phone, just so someone knows. As mentioned earlier, make sure your location is shared with someone who cares as well. When I’m standing on the side of the road waiting, I make sure my trekking poles are visible, as that’s a good visual for people to show them that you’re not just some crazy person–you are a hiker and are just trying to get from point A to point B. I smile to the point that my face hurts. This may seem like an obvious one, but the amount of people that pull over just because you look friendly will surprise you. If you have sunglasses, keep them put away. People want to see your eyes.
Whenever you are in a hitch by yourself, keep your things with you at all times. Before you get in, make sure you ask all the necessary questions to find out as much information about them and their route. I normally don’t like to stand on the shoulder of busy interstates because you can get to somewhere you don’t necessarily want to be pretty dang fast. Depending on the route you’re headed, though, that could be the only option. Stay on your toes, stay aware of everything around you, and stay friendly. As a solo female, I have found that I get more hitches and I get hitches faster. Take that for what it’s worth!
Being a solo female traveler means to be aware, prepared, and empowered. It builds confidence, independence, and opens our eyes to self-discovery that we will never find anywhere else. By trusting your gut, by movin’ and groovin’ with a purpose, and by holding yourself strong, you will be able to continue exploring the world safely and on your own terms. My grandma tells me every day that she lives vicariously through me because no one told her back in her youth that she could do the things that I do, and that is why I continue to do the things that may fall into the “wild and crazy” category. There are so many gals, young and old that you inspire when you get out there and break the norm. Adventure on, Girly!
