Words and Photos by Katelin Reeser @katethewild
I’m planning to thru hike the 3,100 mile Continental Divide Trail this summer. With over 4,000 thru hiking miles to my name, you’d think I’d have little fear of getting on another trail. The last time I hiked any notable distance was a year ago. Two hundred miles on the Appalachian Trail starting at Springer Mountain. Even though it’s only been a year, it feels like I haven’t put my body through the challenge of walking day after day in years. A few months ago my main fear was lingering fatigue (six months!) from a double whammy of Mono and Covid, but I’m feeling much stronger again and that fear has fallen to the wayside.
Is expressing fear a weakness? No. In fact, I think quite the opposite- it begins a dialogue to help you address those feelings head on–so let's get into it.
Is it the distance? (You’re going to what?! Walk 3,000 miles?!)
Yes and no. Having thru hiked the 2,650 mile Pacific Crest Trail in 2021, I know exactly what kind of adventure I’m getting into. By the end of the hike my body was breaking down from lack of nutrition and rest. This time I’ll know how to fuel my body more efficiently as long as I have access to the food and supplements I need. A few things I’m focusing on are calcium supplements to retain bone density, more protein in my diet for faster recovery, and collagen for keeping tendons and ligaments healthy while warding off knee pain.
I know the distance is difficult for most people to fathom but when you take one step at a time, put one foot in front of the other, months pass by quickly and through consistency and determination, you’ve made it.
Is it the isolation? (The CDT being the most remote of the longer trails)
Humans are inherently social creatures meant to live and thrive within community. There is an initial resistance to the thought of being alone in the wilderness… but when you’re out there those feelings change. Having the ability to choose when to wake up, start walking, take breaks and set up camp is a blissful freedom that you don’t often get to experience in everyday life. Time alone with my thoughts, surrounded by epic scenery is when I am my most creative. The ideas flow like water.
As a photographer, I can document my experience and won't feel the pressure to keep hiking as other hikers rush by. There are a few rare moments of fear, like when I haven’t seen anyone else in days, I don’t have service and the realization hits that I am alone in the middle of nowhere. I keep moving and prove to myself that emotions will not last forever. There’s always a friendly face around the corner. I’m bringing an SOS device to stay in contact via satellite messaging, to check weather forecasts and for emergency situations.
What about the grizzlies? (Will you bring a gun?)
Many bears of varying sizes have crossed my path. I have hiked through grizzly territory in Alaska, but I have never encountered a grizzly. I have a healthy dose of fear for grizzlies, as most people do. It will be a new experience to be more mindful of food preparation and storage. It’s important to respect these creatures- we are in their territory. No, I will not bring a gun, but I will carry bear spray and a bear resistant food bag. Statistics show that bear spray is much more effective at warding off bears than a gun- namely in terms of ease of use and accuracy.
Is it the weather? (The CDT tagline is embrace the brutality)
When I hiked the Collegiate Loop along the Colorado Trail in August of 2022, there were afternoon thunderstorms every evening- sometimes hail, sometimes torrential downpours. It was frustrating to have to stop and set up a shelter when all you wanted to do was keep walking (thanks PCT for spoiling me with your nearly perfect weather!). I made it through those daily thunderstorms, growing more resilient than when I began. There was a day where I couldn’t feel my hands. It was rainy, bone chillingly cold with zero visibility. My hands had turned a painful red and white. Reluctantly we hitched down to town to recover and take a break. In town, the sun was out and everyone buzzed around with an exuberance. The next day it was glorious and sunny in the mountains. The weather will teach me when to take shelter and when to take a break. Just like changing emotions, poor weather will not last forever.
Is it about leaving life behind?
There is always some fear that surrounds change. It’s part exciting and terrifying… yet it’s easy to focus on the terrifying part. If there’s anything I’ve learned so far, it’s that immense joy lies on the other side of that fear. For me, fear has always been an indicator that something NEEDS to change. I look forward to approaching life with a new perspective after hiking the CDT. Although in a different capacity, life will be there when you get back.
All of these fears ARE rational.
As soon as you step foot on the trail, every concern tends to fade away. In a world of what’s next, the trail says- be here now. Nature has a tendency to give you presence. The ebb and flow of life’s challenges only show us that we can persevere, that there are moments of action and moments of rest.
Try not to pack your fears and come prepared with only what you need.
"It’s only walking and eating candy, after all.” -LD
